This time of year is a time to spread happiness and joy. Being single around Christmas is a big deal for today’s generation, especially among millennials and Gen Zs. Although it often comes around as a joke, being single around the holidays can evoke strong negative emotions, such as anxiety and depression, to others. There are many who would ask, “Wala na bang hahabol sa pasko?” As the world adjusts to the new normal, so should the concept of love over the holidays.
When it comes to Christmas, some people may enjoy spending the holiday alone because of the freedom it provides, while others may feel lonely because they are spending it alone. Sure, you can spend the holiday with your loved ones; but having a partner to share the experience with can be a unique one. When you see couples out on dates or on social media, it may feel like you’re missing out and that you’re being judged for not being in a relationship. Hence, “SANA ALL!” is all you can think about.
I hadn’t had a relationship until I was 21 years old, when I met my first love. When I was a teenager, I was fine with being alone. But when I reached 19, I began to wonder why I didn’t have a boyfriend and why my previous flings didn’t work out. Another guy came into my life, but it was only for two months before we broke up. I learnt a lot from that two-month fling, and I’ve come to appreciate myself even more as a result. Working on my self-esteem helped me keep myself busy and my mind out of that breakup. Later, I found that I enjoy spending time with my family and friends and that I am content with my own company.
Was there a time in my single life that I craved a companion? Sure. There were times when I told myself, “tatanda ata akong mag-isa,” since I was too young and innocent, like other teenagers at the time. I, too, wondered if there was something wrong with me. However, I realized that these feelings, though valid, were just a result of the pressure I felt to conform to what I saw in my peers and on social media.I knew I wasn’t ready and needed to work on myself first.
Regardless of the time of year, being single is absolutely okay. Being single frees us to focus on our own needs and aspirations, allowing us to gain a deeper understanding of who we are as individuals. Sometimes, the only person you need and the only person who can make you happy is yourself, I can say with certainty. And for me, the things I do to make myself happy include pampering myself, working out, watching movies, going on dates, hanging out with my friends and family, and doing other miscellaneous things that I enjoy doing..” Self-love is just being kind to oneself, prioritizing one’s own needs, and allowing oneself to grow.
Self-love is a fresh notion these days, and it manifests differently for each individual. We all have a unique way of expressing our love for ourselves. If you are not sure where to begin offering yourself some love, here are some ideas to get you started right away.
Don’t be hesitant to let go of toxic people
Not everyone accepts responsibility for the energy they expend in the world. If someone is pouring toxicity into your life and refuses to accept responsibility for it, you may need to distance yourself from them and make no apologies for doing so. Overcoming obstacles can be empowering and life-changing. Keep your energies in check. It is not rude to leave a situation or a person who is draining you.
Take advantage of every opportunity that crosses your path
There is never going to be a perfect time to do something significant in your life. The timing may not be desirable, but it should not prevent you from achieving your objectives and dreams. When opportunity knocks, open the door; if it doesn’t, build one.
Allow yourself to make bad decisions
We have a saying that “nobody is perfect” and that “everyone makes mistakes.” It’s natural to bear more responsibilities as you grow older. Allow yourself to make mistakes so that you can grow and improve from them. No one gets a thick skin without getting burnt first, so to speak. All your slips and falls so far are invaluable experiences. You are continuously evolving from who you were to who you are now and will be one day.
Be kind to yourself
Often, you’ll hear a chorus of sarcastic comments and sneers inside your head, and it’s crucial not to give in to them. Speak to yourself kindly and not in a berating or self-deprecating way. Take a moment to celebrate your achievements. You have gone a long way and changed a lot. Make sure to give yourself a pat on the back.
You have your own time
Some of us have been taught to be competitive so comparing ourselves to others comes naturally. However, it is pointless to compare yourself to anyone else in the world because there is only one of you. Instead, concentrate on yourself and your journey. Like the sun and the moon, each one of us has their own time to shine.
I believe self-love is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Do what you love and love yourself more while you’re still young, because the right person will always come along at the proper time. It may sound like a cliche, but it’s true. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but it will eventually. You may imagine my surprise when a person came into my life and accepted me for who I am rather than who I used to be.
It’s okay to be single on Christmas, dear. Go with the flow and don’t overthink anything. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to spend the holidays without a significant other. Instead of asking “saan ang pila ng saksakan” or thinking “sana all” whenever you see cute couples online or in real life, how about making “ako naman sa pasko” as your mantra? Try to focus on things that will help you grow as a person rather than focusing on things that don’t. Most importantly, enjoy your singlehood as much as you can.
